*Note: This is a bonus section from the Navalmanack, which was edited out of the final published version. Enjoy this section and join the email list for updates, new material, and upcoming products. You can listen to this post courtesy of Audiblogs here.
When working, surround yourself with people more successful than you.
When playing, surround yourself with people happier than you.
I'm currently in an amazing relationship. Thanks to my wife, I've realized whenever you go through a breakup, it's because there was something fundamentally wrong with the relationship to begin with.
Great relationships are easy because your value systems line up so perfectly they make you happy being who they are, and you make them happy being who you are. You almost can't break up because it's too good of a match. Deep down a lot of bad relationships are power struggles. In a good relationship each person does what they want and does not try to control the other person.
Break-ups are so hard because we evolved from a time where we lived in a tribe of 100-120 people. So if your relationship failed, then it's unlikely there is someone else for you. Your odds of passing on your genes are very low. You tell yourself to go get them back because they’re the only one in this tribe.
In the age of Tinder, airplanes, and cities this is no longer true. There are literally millions, maybe hundreds of millions of people you can date. Even though I found the love of my life, I don't think there is only one of her on the planet. I think there are a few hundred thousand women I could have married.
Instead, because of our genetic heritage, we spend years in relationships we know aren't going to work. You want to be free and open while meeting a lot of people, until you meet the right one. Easier said than done. [8]
"Trying" is the biggest mistake you can make early on in a relationship. It sets a false expectation you will eventually tire of.
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